GRE Sample Essay 13

 

The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.

“Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We, therefore, recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers.”

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

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Response for GRE Sample Essay 13

New Ventures Consulting giving recommendations to the president of HobCo.Inc about opening the next HobCo Hobby shop in the southeastern Grilldon has several questionable areas. The report has been drawn out on some weak points and doesn’t provide a proper explanation for them. Several questions arise from this survey and research report about the precision of their decision. Firstly, it has been stated in the report that southeastern Grilldon has a substantial population of retirees who have enough time to devote to hobbies and hence would welcome a hobby shop there. It raises an important question about the economic stability of these people. Though retired people might have ample time to devote to hobbies, most of them must be living under the care of their children or on a limited pension. In such a condition of financial dependence, is it possible for retired people to invest in hobbies that are pure entertainment for them and not a profitable addition to their lives?

Answering this question would also give us an insight into the economic condition of the majority of the families living in that area. This analysis would help HobCo fix the price range of products that could be brought for sale and purchased by their prospective customers, for the sake of hobby and relaxation, in that area. It would answer our doubts about the general economic condition of the residents.

Thirdly, it’s highly probable that businesses other than HobCo and consultant agencies other than New Ventures Consulting also have noticed the lack of Hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. Thus it is also likely that other businesses who would also aim at establishing their shops and outlets of southeast Grilldon have a good track record. With this probability, it’s important to start any new venture after having an idea about the possible competitions, especially their pricing. Thus the next question stands as to what are the possible competitions that HobCo would face while establishing their store and what were the possibilities of any local brand being established there by the residents?

 

The next question is more of a doubt that proceeds from the previous question. What might be the reason behind the absolute absence of hobby shops in such an area where the majority of the people have an interest in pursuing a hobby as well as have time to invest in it? If hobby shops have increased their market and business to over 300 per cent in the past decade in Grilldon, then there might be some serious problems with southeastern Grilldon that no business owner has attempted to set up their business in a market that already has a huge demand, for so many years. There can be several possibilities for this. If there are any legal issues relating to setting up hobby shops in that area, then HobCo must be thoroughly informed about it. Only then can they undergo legal procedures to clear the problems and set up their business or not attempt to start at all. On the other hand, superstitions and social prejudices might be another reason for all companies to keep away from that area, though this option is hardly possible as most of the residents have shown interest in a hobby shop.

Thus these are the three basic questions that strike us after we go through the recommendation of the consultant agency New Ventures Consulting.  These are the underlying problems that need to be solved to estimate the economic investment and the possible legal procedures that HobCo has to undertake or whether they should undertake their new venture at all.

GRE Essay Score

This article scores a 6 because:

The article provides compelling support for all the main points and conveys them precisely. It is devoid of major grammatical errors and demonstrates good syntactic development. It raises an important question regarding the absolute absence of hobby shops in the mentioned area, thus presenting a good analysis of the argument.

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